“May theskdjhfh of hope fill you with all joy and peace in your faith, so that in the power of the Holy Spirit you may be rich in hope.” – Romans 15:13
How many times have I heard great advice from a talk at a retreat; or an inspiration from God at Mass to change something within my life; and only to remain the same? I have in my many years attended many retreats and countless Masses; and got filled with inspiration from our Lord to start something new. And I would start only to give up on it after a while.
I met a man at a retreat a few years ago. He attended Mass every day, visited the adoration chapel daily, and talked about the faith with so much joy and conviction. He related to me how much he was blest to be married for over forty years, had three sons, and many grandchildren. He was involved in his parish as a lector and in the Parish Council. He really impressed me and I felt inspired by him to start going to Mass everyday myself. Later, I found myself getting lazy with my commitment to go to Mass every day – and one day I stopped going. I only attended Mass when I was obligated to do so.
I started to feel so guilty in letting God down and asked myself: “Why did I want to go to Mass every day? What was it that inspired me to do this in the first place?” Well, it was that man I met – he was so filled with joy and he knew his Catholic faith. But did I truly embrace what God was inspiring me to do? Why was God asking me to go to Mass every day? Was it to only get joy and knowledge of my faith? That should be good enough, right? Or was there a much deeper meaning? Did I truly take in everything God wished me to obtain from the witness that man gave?
Then I came to realize that the main reason for my failure is not always allowing God’s grace to penetrate my heart. I failed to realize that I was being called by God to fall in love. When I am inspired to do something new or change something in my life – that is what God is calling me to do – to fall more in love with him.
But in order to allow that grace to penetrate my heart - I need to ask God to help me. When I made the commitment to go to Mass every day – I failed to keep the love that God gave me alive within me.
So what is God asking me to do today? Is he asking me to have more patience with a co-worker? Or is he asking me to use my time wisely? Everyday God is giving me the grace to accomplish anything.
St. Francis de Sales once wrote: “We receive the grace of God in vain when we receive it at the gate of our heart, without allowing it to enter: we receive it without receiving it: we receive it without fruit, since there is no use in feeling the inspiration if one does not consent unto it. And just as the sick man who has the medicine in his hands, if he takes only part of it, will only partially benefit from it, so too, when God sends a great and mighty inspiration to move us to embrace his love, if we do not avail of it in its entirety, we shall benefit from it only partially.”
God, whatever it is you wish of me and whatever grace you wish to give me; help me to do your will and to allow that grace to completely penetrate my heart. I open my heart to you. I give to you my whole life. I surrender. Amen.